I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
