Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
