I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
