you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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