Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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