I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
