And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
