Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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