I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
her vagine was all disorganized.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
This is classic penis vs brain.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
