There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize