dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
