So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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