I accidentally had phone sex last night
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
