Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
