I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
