I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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