she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
