Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
