i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Randomize