i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
