What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
