Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
