He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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