$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
