it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
