Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
