it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize