I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
