oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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