How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
