drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
