Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
