Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I pour the whiskey from now on
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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