remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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