If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
