I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
My room smells like vodka and shame
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize