I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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