like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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