My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize