He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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