We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Randomize
