Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
