Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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