You're so nebulous sometimes
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
