Who wears a wallet chain?!
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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