my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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