I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
