nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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