I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
