Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I wish my penis had an off switch
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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