Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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