Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize