Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
