i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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