So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
