i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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