I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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