it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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