Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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