Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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