I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
