...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
