I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
