under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
