i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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