How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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