u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
he's gonorrhea incarnate
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
