I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
