we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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