She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
This house was built for laser tag.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
