My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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