Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
