Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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