I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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